Adobe Illustrator barks like a dog...

I’m writing this as I wait for Illustrator CS4 to save a file that I am working on.

Saving a file in Illustrator is a very time-consuming process. The file I am saving is for an A2-size poster, with an overall background image and around 40 smaller images. Every time I hit ‘save’ Illustrator overwrites a 417mb file.

I don’t even like Illustrator. For many years I have been a Freehand user. I first encountered Freehand when it was Version 2 and it has been my vector graphic programme of choice from that time. Sure, I’ve used Illustrator at various times (the introduction of the bezier pen drawing time at Version 3 was a high point for me), but Freehand has always had the edge. Even now.

My regular saving of my work is a reflex action. Whenever I go to open a new document, at the end of a particularly intricate piece of work, or simply every 5 minutes – Apple+S. To me it’s common sense. And for the last few years it’s become essential. Freehand does not really like later versions of Mac OS X. Which is just a sad fact of life. Once upon a time you could always expect older versions of Mac software to run fine on newer versions of System. But not since recent versions of Mac OS X came out. The last release of Freehand was in 2004. Since OS X 10.4 ‘Tiger’ came out in 2005 Freehand’s performance has been, at best, ‘unstable’.

Given the size of the community of Freehand users out there, why doesn't somebody do something about this?

To find out why, it’s necessary to go back to 1995, when Adobe brought Aldus, makers of the popular PageMaker and Freehand graphic packages. While Adobe were very quick to release a new version of PageMaker to fill the ‘document layout’ void in their stable of software (too quick in fact, PageMaker 6 and 6.5 were absolute dogs that frequently shredded files beyond recovery rather than saved them, and by the time PageMaker 7 came out the design community, by and large, had moved to Quark Xpress). They had to rush out InDesign to capture that part of the market and the first couple of versions of that were buggy as well – but that’s another story.

Freehand was another matter. After all Adobe already had a vector graphics programme, Illustrator 6.0, and they didn’t need or want another. So they on-sold Aldus Freehand to the initial developers and Macromedia was born.

The rest is history. Macromedia didn’t stop at creating and supporting new and improved releases of Freehand, they went on to develop new and exciting products for web development. These included the highly regarded DreamWeaver, Flash and Fireworks programmes. They also acquired the ColdFusion development platform. They were so successful and became so big that Adobe eventually brought them out, acquiring Freehand for the second time.

This time they didn’t on-sell Freehand. They didn’t keep on supporting it. Instead they killed it. How I wish they had killed Illustrator!

Curse you, Jim Hickey!

I have a bone to pick with you, Jim.

This was supposed to be a fantastic Labour Weekend. All last week you were assuring us that, unlike Labour weekends of years past, this one was really going to be one out of the box. A massive high-pressure system was headed our way across the Tasman, and given the favourable conditions it was going to anchor over the whole of New Zealand for the whole three day weekend. Bear in mind that due to the vaguaries of the New Zealand Holiday Act three day weekends have been in short supply this year and the last one was in June. So we’re taking a long time between drinks here.

Yes, we know that it’s difficult to get accurate weather forecasts for New Zealand. As NIWA has explained, we’re a long, thin landmass nestled in the ’Roaring 40s’ and conditions can be very unpredictable. The Finn Brothers even sang that we really can have ‘four seasons in one day’. That’s why the guys at the Met Office get you to throw in a few caveats with every forecast, just to cover yourselves. You know, like “Mainly fine apart from occasional showers”, ”Settled conditions, becoming changeable in the afternoon”, that sort of thing. But Jim, you really did it this time. All last week you told us it was going to be fantabulous, amazing, incredible weather over most of the country all weekend. And all right, over much of the country you got it right. But guess where you didn’t?

Sure, as the old saying goes, “you can’t beat Wellington on a good day”. That’s absolutely true. But Wellington didn't even get ONE good day on this Labour-Weekend-to-beat-all-Labour-Weekends. Saturday was overcast and drab. It was worse than that on Sunday, Jim. And it didn't get any better on Monday. Maybe the sun was shining in other parts of the country but it sure as hell wasn’t shining in one part of the country for the whole three days. In fact if only brightened up this afternoon. And that fact even made the Six O’Clock News Hour!

We’re understanding folk here in Wellington, Jim. We understand that some factors are simply beyond your control and you can’t always get it right. We understand that you’re a ’Naki boy at heart who has been forced to work in the Big Smoke up north. Do yourself a favour, next time you think you see a fantabulous long weekend coming up, play it safe and leave yourself a little wriggle room. Who knows, we may all be pleasantly surprised!

DON'T VOTE!

It Only Encourages The Buggers...

I see the Local Body Elections are drawing ever-closer upon us and we should all do the democratic thing and cast our votes. The thing is I’m having a problem telling the candidates apart. It says a lot for the calibre of those misguided souls that feel a calling to put themselves forward for Local Government when you can’t tell one from the other.

Right now the incumbent Mayor of Lower Hutt is telling us that he stands for Lower Rates and Better Services. His opposing candidate is saying exactly the same thing. I don’t get it...

Consider the proposition itself. “Lower Rates and Better Services”. Now that sounds like an inherent contradiction in terms to me. How are you expected to improve services when you're bringing in the same amount of money through rates? The obvious solution is to charge more for the services. So your rates won’t go up as much as they might have otherwise but you'll still end up paying more.

Years ago I lived in West Auckland. At the time the incumbent Mayor had just taken delivery of a Daimler Limousine for civic duties. A certain concrete contractor and ex-student radical, name of Shadbolt, pointed out that this extravagance was a waste of ratepayer money with no tangible benefit to the ratepayer. He then pointed out that the Daimler didn't even have a tow-bar. If he became Mayor he wouldn’t be able to tow his concrete mixer! Well, the rest is history. Tim ‘I Don't Care Where As Long as I’m Mayor’ Shadbolt went on to become Mayor of Waitakere City, the Daimler got a tow-bar and Tim towed his trusty (or was that rusty) concrete mixer in the Henderson Christmas Parade. He then went on to lose Waitakere’s Mayoral chains while on a ‘speaking engagement’ at Auckland’s Gluepot Pub. Consequently Tim is now Mayor of Invercargill. Still, it was fun while it lasted.

Most local politicians are not nearly as colourful as young Tim. The local candidates for Mayor are neither Red or Blue, but more consistently a uniform shade of uninspiring Grey. The candidates in the race to become Auckland’s first 'Super Mayor' are similarly indistinguishable. Manukau Mayor Len Brown cried when he had to cut up his official credit card after ‘inappropriate’ use. Auckland City Mayor John ‘Banksy’ Banks similarly cried at a recent court investigation over the death of an acquaintance of his 18 year old son (which wouldn’t have hurt his prospects of re-election at all). From here the future of the Super City doesn’t look too healthy.

The only local body candidate to stand out in any way is Mayor Bob Parker of Christchurch. Bob’s fortunes have changed since the Christchurch earthquake last month and the subsequent aftermath. Bob has been the right man, in the right place, at the right time and has handled the whole business in a very credible manner. His rival, ageing political hack Jim Anderton can’t rival this performance. I imagine Jim will stick to Central Government and the public trough for another parliamentary term.

“Then again, our council is strictly non-political... They’re all conservative.” (Michael Flanders)

‘American Pie’

“So bye bye, Miss American Pie. Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry.
Them good ol’ boys was drinking whisky and rye, saying ‘this will be the day that I die...’ ”

Not so long ago, after a number of years I made contact with my old mate, Mark. I had done a drawing of Mark’s 1948 Chev Thriftmaster pick up truck a couple of years ago. In the mid '80s I'd taken some 35mm photos of ‘Baby Blue’ with the idea of doing an airbrushed illustration.

How times have changed! It wasn’t until 2008 that I got around to doing the illustration. Computers had replaced drawing boards and the global economy was going down the toilet. I found myself with time on my hands so I dragged out the old black and white 8x10" print I had made years earlier in the Auckland Star darkrooms and set to work.

This was the very first time I had attempted this kind of work on a computer. The idea was to create a rendered illustration of something unique – not just any 1948 Chev Thriftmaster but the particular truck that Mark had owned years earlier. I began by blocking in the blue painted surfaces and used Photoshop’s dodge and burn tools to render highlights and shadows. The Chev also bristled with chromework and working out how to render the polished hubcaps and model the fluted grille surfaces was a real challenge. The final touches were the small details, the 1940’s Chevrolet badging, the polished bolt caps on the 1/8" steel bumpers, the Chevrolet ‘bowtie’ emblems, double rear leaf springs and the 1980s vintage registration plates. IMHO this is what ‘makes' the illustration.’

If anybody wants a blow-by-blow tutorial drop a comment in the blog and I'll see what I can do...

About 'Baby Blue'...

Mark’s first car was a 1970’s Mk 3 ‘Coke Bottle’ Ford Cortina that his old man had picked out for him. It had been owned by a mechanic, had been well maintained, had a tidy body and was in good running order. At the business end it had a 1.6 litre four-cylinder crossflow engine lugging a fairly substantial mid-sized body and Mark hated it. He often said his old man had brought it to try and kill him. In fact he must have always been a Chev man because when he sold it a few years later this was the vehicle that replaced it!

‘Baby Blue’ was huge. Traditionally pre mid-1950’s Chevs had inline six-cylinder engines and ‘Baby Blue’ was no exception. The original sidevalve ‘Stovebolt Six’ had been replaced with a more modern ‘Blue Flame’ unit mated to the original three-speed gearbox. Acceleration was hardly neck-breaking but once wound up the truck would cruise comfortably at nearly 60 miles per hour (100kmh), it’s town-and-country rear tyres making a distinctive ‘frrrrrp’ sound as it whizzed along the roadway. Fuel consumption was the stuff of legend.

Mark was a collector. From his childhood he had made collections of all manner of articles. I met him during my third-form year at college and he invited me home after school shortly afterwards. He then showed me his collection of Malaysian ‘Kris’ daggers, a couple of machetes, some WWII bayonets and a ‘Kukri’ – the weapon of choice of the Ghurka Regiment. Subsequently he acquired a veteran Excelsior motorcycle, a King Nuetrodyne wireless radio set, a vintage Austin Seven and all manner of other stuff. If you needed to get hold of anything in the second hand/‘antique’ line or any old machinery Mark always ‘knew where one was’. With a 1/2 ton payload ‘Baby Blue’ was the ideal way to move his collections around. Most importantly it also meant that his Alsatian, Sheik, could ride on the huge tray, thus eliminating the problem of dog hair on any upholstery.

Like all older vehicles, ‘Baby Blue’ had it’s quirks. After years of wear the ignition switch could be turned on without the benefit of a key. It had a floor-mounted starter switch and no synchro on first gear. It had a vinyl-upholstered bench seat and absolutely no seatbelts. A collection of air-horns linked to an asthmatic compressor lurked behind the grille. The windscreen wipers were operated by the vacuum in the induction manifold, meaning that they would stop altogether when going uphill on full throttle and nearly fly off the screen going downhill on over-run. On one memorable trip from New Plymouth to Auckland the industrial-strength fanbelt broke and the engine overheated sending steam pouring up through the floorboards into the cab. Fortunately the Blue Flame suffered no permanent damage but a blown head gasket had to be replaced!

In fact that was our last trip in ‘Baby Blue’. Mark was taking her up to Auckland to sell her. He needed the money to contribute towards his share of the house that he and his girlfriend were buying.

I sent him a print of ‘Baby Blue’ for his birthday this year. Thanks for the memories...

“I was a lonely teenage bronc'n'buck with a pink carnation and a pick-up truck...”
(‘American Pie’, Don McLean)

GOOOAAAAALLLLL!

I don’t think Iceland was even in the World Cup (were they?) but this is an unbelievable celebration of a sporting triumph though I don’t think it was totally spontaneous – I have a sneaking suspicion that they might have been rehearsing for just such an occasion...

NZ Leads the World... again!

Yes, this month it happened. As of 1st July 2010 Godzone becomes a world leader... again. We are one of the first, if not the first country to have a fully-functional, albeit very watered-down ETS.

For those that I have lost already, an ETS is an Emissions Trading Scheme. And, to quickly recap on an earlier article in this blog, an Emissions Trading Scheme is a means of penalising those that emit so-called ‘greenhouse gases’ that are, apparently, making the Earth warmer. Just how the Earth is supposed to be getting warmer I have no idea, if I look out the window into a Wellington winter I can see little evidence of it, but apparently it’s happening. Somewhere.

So, like other countries, New Zealand has to make a contribution to combat this. We produce something like 0.2% of global emissions, so if we slap a levy on anybody that drives a car, uses electric power, hops on a plane or lights a fire that should take care of that part of the problem. We also need to do something about all the agricultural ruminants out there but the Agricultural Belch Tax part of the equation (also mistakenly called the ‘fart tax’) doesn’t come into effect until around 2015.

So by 2015 a whole heap of money will be siphoned out of the local economy and sent... where exactly?

Apparently it’s going to be used to buy ‘Carbon Credits’. A Carbon Credit is an intangible thing. You can’t see it or feel it. It makes no noise and the average person wouldn’t know one if he fell over it in the street. I have no idea who sells them, though I know he’s going to become very rich. And apparently if you buy one of these things you’re saving the world.

They say some joker from the Beehive called Nick Smith is busy right now working on a ‘charm offensive’ that may explain the ETS better than I can. Call me a cynic, but somehow I doubt it.

Is there anybody out there...

“Hello, is there anybody out there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone at home?” (Pink Floyd)

Amongst all the rantings and ravings in hyperspace it’s easy for the blog editor to become disillusioned. I’ve been publishing this blog for well over a year. It’s a handy way to put my thoughts and musings out there and see if anyone gives a damn. Who knows, in fifty or eighty five years these scratchings might be discovered and pondered over. But for now I’ve had a handful of comments. And I have no followers. At all. Heck, even NEV has four followers and he’s a garden gnome!

So we enter the realm of the abandoned blog. Many blogs were started for no other reason than they seemed to be a good idea at the time. And as time goes on they become a chore and a liability and are left parked on the side of the information superhighway. And I have been concerned that this blog was going to join them.

Matter of fact I’ve been really, really busy for the last six weeks which is cool. And I have no intention of closing this blog down. I’m going to carry on polluting my own little corner of the web in my search for immortality. Who know, one day I might even say something useful!